Pete Smith

To be read at Pete's farewell party January 7, 2009 as he prepared for his move out west.

July 17, 2005--that's the day Pete earned a PHD for being a candy ass--or as the Alicia court of guilt dubbed it "one with ass made of candy". It all started with a few emails suggesting a gap ride. Some accuse Pete of organizing the ride but that's not true. I actually sent a message asking if folks were "pigs" or "chickens" i.e. committed or interested. Enough folks were "pigs " so that I reserved picnic table # 4 at Vogel, and made a list of attendees along with food assignments. Pete's in my day timer with "burgers" written beside his name.

On Sunday morning we met at Vogel to ride, but Pete wasn't there. Calls to his cell phone weren't answered. After the ride scrambled for food so we could have a post ride cookout--at picnic table # 4 minus the Pete Smith burgers. The next morning Alicia issued Pete's diploma--and then the shit really hit the fan.

Pete informed us about a club he was involved with--or should I say founded--the Fulton University Club for Kids United by Alicia. The acronym is FUCKUAlicia. I won't bore you with the details of his explanation--let's just say it was a total crock of crap. Under oath he finally admitted to perjury. The text of this is available if you google the yahoo group. A few more salvos were fired back and forth but things were fairly quiet until Pete sent out an email suggesting another gaps ride on October 8 and asked "who's with me?' Then Alicia unleashed a full frontal assault:

"HAHA! Good one Pete! Whew...you are hysterical! "Ummm...yeah, like I am planning this great 3-gaps ride," (said in a Petie-voice) ...just a sec, let me catch my breath...I am laughing too hard..."Then we will have a BBQ after--I'll bring the hamburgers!"...whew, gotta wipe the tears from my eyes...I can't quite see the computer screen... "Let's meet early so we can beat the heat--it'll be GREAT!"So we all head up there, whilst you sit on your couch, perming your hair, painting your nails and watching QVC looking for some great deals on new pink panties for your candy-ass!That is some FUNNY stuff! You are like Ashton Kutcher! But you already did that one--I don't think I am going to be "Punked" twice!"

One team mate put the final touch on this; his email read: "I don't really know either of you that well, but judging by your emails I'd say you're made for each other! When's the wedding?" We still don't have an answer, but we now know that Pete & Alicia are an item. No one has figured out how that happened--I personally think Pete got some serious skinny on Alicia and is blackmailing her--why else would she be so enamored with such a candy ass--I mean "one with ass made of candy"?

On a more serious note, one thing I admire is Pete's sales ability--or should I say his perception of salesmanship. After all who else would try to convince a girl friend to move back to Atlanta from Colorado to rejoin him here? Out there Alicia owns a house, has a great job and lots of family. Here Pete has an apartment close to Morningside taverns, a job with a company that when he applied for a transfer to Denver promptly closed that office, no family-- only friends who derive great pleasure in making him the butt of all their jokes. Nevertheless Pete set out with great ambition over the past year to convince Alicia she should return. Great sales job, Pete--that's why we're now having a farewell party for you.

Outer Banks

During Thanksgiving I drove to Duck NC to visit my cousin Tim Brown. I saw him at my aunt's funeral in January for first time in over 40 years. When he and his wife Mia invited me to spend Thanksgiving on the outer banks at a house they rented I'm thinking Georgia--North Carolina no problem. After committing I realized it was 600 miles--ouch. But once I commit I rarely back down so Greta & I made the trip.



It was a great experience to spend quality time with a relative I hadn't been close to in a long time, meet his wife and extended family. It seems easy for me to connect with relatives even after years apart. I've done a lot to accomplish reconnections over the past few years. I wish it happened more often but with 20 cousins spread all over the east & west coast & few places in between it hasn't occurred with some of them.



Tim and I went on bike rides Thursday & Friday. Both days I ran into friends I hadn't seen in quite a while. On Thursday as we were finishing up a car pulled along side us and called out my name. It was a guy named John Green who I had worked with years ago. His wife Jennifer (who I introduced him to) was with him along with their 10 month old daughter (Sophie). We stopped along the roadside and had a quick conversation update and exchanged email addresses. The next day we cycled to the Wright Brothers Memorial and as we were leaving I heard someone call my name. It was Hetal from a team I coached a few years ago who had moved to India and just returned to Atlanta. Again another quick update and a promise to ride together in Atlanta. Two connections in 24 hours--my cousin is asking me are you sure you haven't been here before?



On Saturday I headed to Staunton to see Nancy Williams. I shared a recollection of her in earlier post Not sure how much of that reconnection I'm willing to share here--maybe someday in the future. All I'll say for now-- it was memorable and special.

Back To the Future--Nancy Williams

This morning my phone rang at 6:40 am. Caller ID said it was Nancy Williams--of all the back to the future posts I've done this one is special--at least to me.





In 1964 I was graduating high school, dating a girl I cared about, looking forward to the University of Richmond. My next door neighbor (Beth Brown) kept telling me I should meet a friend of hers. On a Friday night after a picnic at Elkhorn Recreation Club (a lake I was about to start work at as a lifeguard) Beth told me her friend Nancy Williams would be a slumber party not far from my house. Beth said I should come by and Nancy would sneak out to meet me. I went over there late that night, met Nancy and my life over the next few years changed dramatically.





To say I was smitten would be an understatement. I broke up with my girl friend (Diane Boy) within days. I handled that so well that 20 years later at a high school reunion she stared right through me. I dated Nancy that summer, and headed off to college. Lots of stuff happens when you leave home for college but Nancy always remained special. I remember one time I went to a car race at VIR with a bunch of college friends. I ran into her and we wound up totally immersed in one another again. I can't remember all the other times we re-connected over the years but I do remember she once told me (at UR fraternity party) that I lived in a much faster lane than she did. That's when 3 year's age difference was a big deal since I was in college while Nancy was in high school.





I still remember the day I got an invitation/announcement in 1972 that she was getting/got married. That was one of the saddest days in my life because my first true love had chosen some one else. I've re-connected with a fair number of friends from my past but until now Nancy had eluded me. It's hard to find folks when their last name can change.





So how did this re-connection happen? I joined the classmates.com web site since my 45th high school reunion is next year. I think our class has only had 3 (1974, 1984, 2004) and I didn't know about 2004. Anyway a few days ago Nancy showed up as a visitor. An email from me led to an early morning call from her, a follow up email and an invitation to a "phone date" scheduled for later this weekend. I've never experienced a phone date before. But whenever Nancy Williams enters my life I've always been willing to re-connect.





This morning when I saw her name on caller ID I felt like Back to the Future star Michael J Fox in the Delorean transported back in time. I know one can't turn back time, but I'm still smitten by the memory of Nancy Williams--even 44 years later.

More on the bailout

Now that our government passed the bailout Paulsen and others are re allocating where it goes. Remember I said they were asking for all that money and telling us "trust us we'll figure out who deserves it."

Now many other sectors are coming forward asking for funds. They all begin their request with how crucial their survival is to our economic system along with the refrain "you already bailed out AIG, Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, etc"

That's the problem with government "bailing out" troubled sectors. As they "kick the can further down the road" the parade just gets longer. This week Chrysler, Ford & GM are begging. But when the 3 spokesmen fly to DC from Detroit in 3 separate corporate jets why would any rational person listen to their plea? Clearly those 3 just don't get it. I'm sorry that many folks will suffer if sectors of our economy fail. I may also suffer, but I'd risk that in exchange for a free market system that sorts things out over time instead of relying on government corrections/interference.

Looking back to the great depression, many experts feel that Roosevelt's "New Deal" prolonged the depression for 7-10 years when market forces would have corrected the economy in 3-4 years. I majored in economics so I know economies go through cycles. I was also taught that government's role was to act as a stimulus when times got slow and a restraint when things got too fast, eg inflation. One economic principle I learned way back then was government was more effective slowing things down than stimulating the economy. Personally I'm not sure our government is effective at much any more except mortgaging future generations with a ton of financial obligations.

Kick the can, kick the can.......maybe someday we'll figure out how to refill it instead.

Favorite Movies

My favorite top 10 movies in no particular order:


My Dog Skip


Shane


The Sting


Five Easy Pieces


Cool Hand Luke


Old Yeller


African Queen


Remember the Titans


The Deerhunter


Hombre


The Natural



Breaking Away

$700 Billion Bailout?

This is a very popular topic right now. A couple of observations from someone who is very skeptical of anyone who says "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you".


The 2 guys ( Bernake & Paulson) who are preaching that we've got to do something right now--aren't they the same 2 guys who preached most of this year that everything was under control? And wasn't Paulson an investment banker for many years walking in the shoes of the folks he's now asking us to hand this money too?


Congress: most of these folks have been there too long and have spent years protecting some of the same industries/executives they now accuse of leading us into this mess. Now some of them want us to hand over $700 billion to fix this? And aren't many of them the folks who hastily passed the Sabonis Oxley legislation post Enron which requires these institutions to "mark assets to current market value"?


$700 billion comes out to an average of more that $23,000 per person in USA. That's every person--babies, kids, homeless, millionaires and everyone else in between. Does this figure include what's already been committed to Fannie, Freddie, AIG, etc. or is it an additional amount? No, it's additional because AIG just accepted their $85 billion, and by the way exactly how much money was committed to Fannie & Freddie--that figure seems absent from the Wall Street Journal and other publications.


Many folks seem to think this whole thing can be pinned on someone. In my opinion it can't be pinned on specific industries, markets, executives, citizens. Many have done things for years that led to this. I say let the market correct itself. That probably means a recession, and some other painful sorting out. But government's obsession with keeping things hunky dory means turning a recession that would normally last 1-2 years into an event that lasts a lot longer. I think there are a lot of foxes and hens in the chicken house and both sides are scaring the hell out of many folks across the country.


Warren Buffet, a very savvy investor in my opinion, spokeout in favor of the government plan and opened the betting with $5 billion, along with options to invest more. Andy Kessler, a former hedge fund trader and writer, suggests the taxpayers could yield between a $1--2 trillion return over time on $700 billion. Pretty good ROI. So why not let each one of us decide exactly how much of our money we want to bet on this and let the market play out. You know what--the ability to do just that already exists. I'm certainly fishing--I just don't have as much bait as Warren, and I just don't trust government telling us where to fish.

Back to the Future--Chubb Career

40 years ago today I started my post- college career in New York City working for a company called Chubb & Son. Probably the biggest day I my life as I went from college grad from Danville Va to a job in the world's financial capital. I spent almost 20 years at Chubb moving up the corprate ladder through offices in NYC, Atlanta, NJ, CA, CT and back to Atlanta in 1982. learned a great deal, made a lot of friends, but since I changed cities every few years some of those friends came and went. But within the company I could maintain contact with many no matter where I was.



I left Chubb in May, 1988 squeezed out by a branch manager who decided he didn't want me around. It was hard to figure out at the time since at one time we were good friends when we both worked for Chubb in New Jersey. I realized that if you ever crossed his path he was unforgiving and reentless in getting even. I saw him hold grudges against folks forever, but I really couldn't figure out how I crossed that line. I found out after I left that he went to great lenghts to bad mouth me to many folks. I also learned that most folks he bad mouthed me to had a "what the fuck are you talking about reaction."


Recently I went to a reunion of many Chubb Atlanta employees. I hadn't seen most of them in years. I was touched by how many of them felt I'd been railroaded by my branch manager. While there Linda Hayes told the story about how he had come to my office smoking a cigar. As he walked in she said I told him " George, if you want to come into my office leave the cigar some where else, if you need to smoke it we'll meet outside or in your office." I had no recollection of that encounter but Linda said George was silently steaming. Maybe that episode was my undoing, maybe it was something else. I do recall that if anyone ever pissed him off, he stayed mad and vengeful forever.


As long as we never cross paths again it won't matter. If we do I'll most likely kick his ass. Not because he shoved me out of Chubb, where I'd be way ahead financially, but because I wound up losing touch with lots of folks I really cared about--and who cared about me. My hope is the Chubb connections I'll make down the road are the ones who matter.

Mary DeWree

My friend Mary DeWree is being given a surprise 50th birthday party this Friday. All invitees have to write down and bring "My Mary Memory". Here's mine.

I first met Mary in the summer of 2001 as I prepared to coach another group of cyclists for TeamInTraining. I'm use to meeting cyclists with all kinds of bikes and cycling ability at these early group training rdes. Nothing in my 4 previous years of coaching prepared me for Mary.

Well, it wasn't really Mary I was unprepared for--it was the bike she brought to the ride. I don't remember the brand but it was yellow, weighed at least 40 lbs, and was a ladies model mountain bike. It hadn't been ridden in years--it probably hadn't even been inside a garage or house since the turn of the century. Tires with no air, spokes that had rusted, I'm thinking that bike won't get her out of the parking lot.

I was close to being right. As I recall we suggested she ride to the track at the Lovett School and do some laps to see if the bike would actually work. That's the last time Mary ever followed my cycling advice.

Fortunately Mary wound up with another yellow bike--this one a Cannondale road bike which her friend Lynn now rides. You see the one thing that Mary knows how to do is solve problems by upgrading. Her philosophy is "I can solve any situation with money or friends."

Mary, tonight as we gather to celebrate your 50th I hope you still have as much money as you do friends.

Your friend and cyling coach,
Neil

Damascus--That Damn Cat

Last July cycling in north Georgia I came across a kitten on Damascus Church Rd. My friend Wendy who saves animals from cats to turtles and many species in between stopped to check him out. I figured it was a wild feral cat who would run away. Instead he was a super friendly kitten and we picked him up to take care of him until we could find a good home. Since Wendy already had 2 rescued cats he wound up at my house. By the time I'd had him checked out at my vet's we had bonded. I named him "Damascus" because of where we found him, and because it coincided with what I'd sometimes call him (that damn cat) as he became a household member.

There's no such thing as a free kitten. I spent about $500 neutering vaccinating and dealing with several minor health problems that cats in the wild usually have. But compared to other cats I've had or encountered Damascus was truly special. He would almost always come when called, he loved attention and if my dog Greta or I didn't give him enough he would quickly remind us of our responsibility. Greta for the most part tolerated Damascus but I could tell she kinda liked having a companion in the house while I was gone.

Damascus had no fear of anything and everyone and every animal was a friend. I think that lead to his demise. Last Thursday morning he went outside. When I took Greta out later there was no sign of him which was unusual. I started looking and found him curled up under his favorite bush. He looked OK but didn't get up when I called him to me. I picked him up and as I went up the stairs I found a wound on his right hindquarter. It was pretty obvious he had been attacked and couldn't move his rear legs. He didn't seem too distressed and purred constantly just like he normally would when I engaged him. The vet wouldn't open for an hour so I made him comfortable in Greta's cage. I looked around outside for any animal or evidence of what happened--I looked at my neighbor's Rottweiler a few doors away--he was on his normal chain but I wondered if he'd gotten loose for a while.

Once at the vet's the news was pretty bad. The vet was more worried about his inability to move his hind legs than the wounds. They discovered Damascus had a heart murmur (new news) and thought perhaps something had broken loose and moved into a position where it temporarily paralyzed his back legs and that he was attacked while in that condition. They suggested an xray and further exams so I left him there while they continued to check him out. By now I had a gut feeling this was not going to be a good day.

When I returned the vet confirmed the xray revealed a compressed fracture in his lower back. They could attempt corrective surgery but the prognosois was grim and the cost prohibitive. The vet totally supported my decision to put him down. They asked if I wanted to be present but I have never been able to be there whenever one of my pets have to be put to sleep. I did ask for a chance to say "goodbye".

They brought Damascus into the exam room wrapped in a blanket and left us alone. He was still purring like everything was OK. I hugged him and said "I'm sorry buddy. I wanted to spend the next 10--15 years with you. I let you down by not protecting you. I am so sorry!" I cried, and left him there on the table still purring.

Now almost a week has passed. Many emotions still run through my mind. I rescued him from a certain early grave only to have him caught in some jaw of death 7 months later. I feel blessed that he crossed my path, but guilty that I let him out one morning to step into harm's way.

Damascus, I miss you! You damn cat.

Customer Service

This afternoon I was involved in 2 incidents that remind me how important customer service can be.

In the first incident I was the one providing service; here's how it went. 5 minutes after my office closed the phone rang and I answered it. A mortgage broker needed information updated on our client's insurance. No big deal except this was the 4th time this jerk had asked me for a change which on every prior request I sent to him the same day he requested it. Twice he'd "lost" the fax, once we had to change the effective date, and now we're changing mortgage companies. I processed the change and faxed it in 5 minutes. Then he calls back and asks me to email it since his frigging fax machine isn't working. I did it and finally left the office about 4:45. Now bear in mind this is a transaction that doesn't generate any revenue for my agency, but it's the kind of service we provide routinely. Hopefully he won't call on Monday with another request cause he'll be pretty low on my priority list.



I then stopped at Pier One to look at furniture for my covered patio. Since I'd been there before I went directly to the items I was interested in buying: a wicker chair, some pillows, matching table, and an outdoor lamp. Probably about $300. I spent 15 minutes sitting in various chairs, looking at pillow and lamp combinations. No one said a word to me. Finally I asked an associate a question about whether the lampshade could live on a covered patio. He looked at it, looked the item up, and then told me he wasn't sure. I then asked him about the pillows--I wondered if they had a different color that was an "outside" pillow. Again he was kinda clueless even when I asked if other locations might have colors I was looking for. I even offered to leave him my card so he could research, and he said "well all the stores pretty much have the same things and we get new stuff constantly." Something about that response doesn't make sense. I immediately decided that even though I'm really interested in the items, I ain't about to buy them from him.



I make my living selling insurance. It's an intangible service that most buyers don't enjoy shopping for, think it's too expensive, don't understand how it works if they have a claim, and feel the insurance company is out to shaft them. I've had some people walk over a few dollar's difference in price, and I've had client's stay where my price is much higher. What's the difference: some folks don't appreciate customer service--fortunately many folks do and that's how I survive.

Peg Seifert

Last weekend I attended a funeral service for my aunt who died New Year's day. As long as you're not the main participant, funerals bring folks together that may not have seen each other for many years. Peg's funeral was certainly that for me. The priest and her daughter Gretchen delivered touching eulogies. Had I been asked to speak it would have gone like this:




"It's been 44 years since I've been here at Our Mother of Sorrows Church. I'm Peg Seifert's nephew Neil Fleming. Back then following the death of my father my mother was unable to care for my brother and I. Peg brought us to Johnstown to live with her family until my mother recovered. So every Sunday whether I wanted to or not I was here for a service.

My brother and I came to Johnstown reluctantly since we really didn't have any other options--at 17 and 15 you usually don't. Peg brought us here and at great personal sacrifice made us a part of her family that summer and fall. It was hard for Peg because money was limited and other family members were not able to help. But Peg with support from her husband Sy provided the support we needed. My own mother died almost 30 years ago, but as long as Peg was alive I felt the presence of a surrogate mother hovering in the background.

I made many friends in Johnstown most of whom I haven't seen since 1963. I see some here today, and you remind me of how Peg did whatever she could to bring family and friends together. She was the matriarch of our family, keeping in touch, reaching out even when we disappeared for a time, and as Gretchen said 'forgive but not forget'.

I know that Peg would look over this weekend and say to herself, 'Thank God I was able to re-unite some of my family and friends one more time'. Right know she's no doubt getting a key from St Peter for that place in heaven reserved for very special souls."

In 2005 I spent several days with my brother and Peg in Johnstown. It was the first time Mark and I had seen Peg together since 1963. I had a sense it might be the last time I'd get a chance to spend time like this with her. When I learned Peg had died going to her service was a journey I knew was inevitable.


With few exceptions I didn't keep in touch with my extended family for many years. A small part of that could have been resentment over what happened after my father's death and my mother's complications. But I think it was mainly indifference on my part. During the last 4 years I've made efforts to reconnect with extended family. Whenever I've been able to reconnect with individual family members it's extremely fulfilling. Sometimes it seems like it's only been a short disconnect even though it's been years. I hope I can re-establish connections with more although it's awful hard when folks get spread out. The promise I've made to myself is to keep up trying. The past few years have shown me it's worth the effort. Peg's funeral was a special weekend for me and others.

My brother Mark also wrote about Peg today on his blog, Unsolicited Opinion.

Medical Care & Health Insurance

I should the last person to criticize the current state of medical care and health insurance. I've had 10 orthopedic surgeries over the past 40 years and they've all been taken care of with very little out of pocket expense on my part. I've been fortunate to have been covered by some type of insurance at a reasonable cost. For the past 8 years my health insurance premium has been paid for by my employer.

But something is very wrong with the overall system: I see a couple of issues

LOTS OF PEOPLE UNINSURED
Estimates vary but there are probably about 40 million people in America who have no medical insurance. Some of them are young folks no longer covered under their parents, others are unemployed between jobs, some are those with a serious medical problem which emerged while they were uninsured, etc. While some of these folks go without coverage for a short time, some of them remain uninsured for a long time. Unfortunately illness and accidents strike enough of this group to put a strain on the overall system and/or let people do without.

RELYING ON EMPLOYERS TO OBTAIN INSURANCE
Many Americans are covered by group plans through companies. This works for those employed by companies who offer(and sometimes subsidize plans). Insurance can become real expensive for the self employed and employees who change or leave jobs. It may not be possible to continue when a person changes jobs with a medical condition--of course no one ever changes jobs or has a medical condition--right!

RELYING ON GOVERNMENT TO SOLVE A FREE MARKET ISSUE
I believe this would be disastrous. Except for the Constitution and the interstate highway system I can't think of anything the government has done more efficiently than the free market system. Think I'm wrong--audit the post office and social security for starters. The only role government should play is offering tax incentives and designing transportation systems that provide alternatives that promote wellness, i.e. sidewalks, room for bikes on roads, etc.

MEDICAL CARE IS A PAPER, SCISSORS, STONE, GAME
Insured patients don't shop for medical services because they don't pay directly. Doctors, hospitals and other providers inflate charges because they know insurance companies with large groups will beat them down. Insurance companies have large numbers and money. Each group seems to work on their own to win without regard to other components. Uninsured patients either go without treatment and/or pass their costs onto society.


WHAT DO I RECOMMEND?
1. Create Individual Health Savings Accounts. All funds deposited are tax deductible for contributor. No limits--if an individual sets aside $1,000,000 that's fine--if they set aside $100 that's OK too. Contributions can come from anywhere, i.e. individual, friend, family, company whatever. HSAs can be established for anyone, anytime and funds can only be used for medical/health care costs. Funds in an individual account can be transferred to a designated beneficiary upon death.

2. Let existing insurance plans continue that work for groups and/or individuals.

3. Eliminate expiration date for Cobra. If someone leaves employer sponsored program they can continue coverage as long as they pay premium.

4. Push for incentives that benefit individuals, doctors, hospitals, and insurance companies. This topic warrants a separate post--stay tuned.

Rebuttal To My Brother

My brother Mark recently posted an article, Convenient Targets on his blog http://www.unsolicitedopinion.blogspot.com/ For my perspective read an earlier post of mine, Mexican Standoff. I visit Mark's site regularly because he writes well, posts often, and I respect his political savy. Even though sharing the same genes we don't think alike on many issues, but you can tell we're brothers. This article is a good illustration of our similarities and differences.

Mark expresses the opinion that corporations seek to lower costs and maximize profit without regard to social progress. I believe in a free market where every individual seeks to get the maxium return for their effort (wages) and spend the least amount possible for goods and services. When it comes down to illegal immigrants it's not corporations (big business) that hires these folks--it's the lettuce growers in Yuma who can't find an American willing to pick crops combined with other Americans who won't pay for Americans to pick lettuce when someone else will do it for a fraction of the harvest cost. It's the contractor re-roofing a house where the homeowner gets 4 bids ranging from $1,500 to $6,000. I could go one but you get the point--and certainly other factors (insurance, taxes, etc) influence this.

Mark has a valid point about the balance between profit and social progress. The issue I have is the dependency on government to measure, monitor, and deliver. I trust government about as much as Mark trusts corporations. There are lots of wealthy corporate officers (Greenburg, Welch) who have profited at others' expense, but there are plenty of politicians (Clintons, Bush) who have done the same thing in a different arena. I live in Atlanta and have watched the 40+ year neglect over our sewer system now being addressed with torn up streets and massive amounts of money changing hands under government tables. It's big business AND government seeking their self interests, and I dont trust either one. The best way to fix something like this is for citizens to become much more concerned about their local and state goverments instead of worrying so much about national politics, but I'm getting off the subject here.

Many Mexicans see more opportunity here in America. How do we change that? Mark's post doesn't offer a concrete solution. The simple answer is we annex Mexico and make it the 51st state. Save a lot of money on border security--perhaps set up toll booths and generate even more revenue. Of course Mexican politicians and corporations may not like this, but I don't care--invading and annexing Mexico is a lot less expensive than all the "social progress" we're paying for in Iraq--probably even less loss of life than when Pancho Villa tried to annex Texas. And it's a damn site closer to home.

Mark points that migration has been a key to opportunity throughout history. I agree and in a perfect world there shouldn't be any lines or barriers. One problem is there are people on this planet who want to terrorize and kill others just because. I would rather see the United States spend less resources on "illegal immigrants" and devote them to reducing the risks presented by those who want to harm us either here or from abroad.

Like Mark, I don't have a concrete answer yet. But the sooner we as a nation recognize we can't solve all the planet's issues the closer we may get to prioritizing and dealing with our own. And isn't that how a free market system is suppose to work?

Father's Day--2007

Today is father's day and my father's birthday. Last year on this date I posted a refection on him. Today I went on a bike ride. It's a ride I've done before over 3 gaps in north Georgia, but I hadn't been over these 3 since my knee replacements. As our mostly male group started we wished each other a happy father's day. I remembered it was also my father's birthday.

The ride was hard but certainly less painful with new knees. I rode alone most of the ride--couldn't follow my younger friends up the early steep hills but went off the front for a long time after they stopped to fix a flat. I thought of my father a few times during the ride. I remember thinking I never rode a bike with him even though I've ridden since I was 5. My goal was to climb Hog pen without stopping and I made it.

I checked my brother Mark's site and today he posted his reflections on our father. He did a through hike on the Appalachian Trial 5 years ago and thought about our father often. His post was from his memoirs. Today my ride crossed the AT twice and my drive to and from the ride crossed the AT twice. Funny how brothers have similar thoughts in similar places years apart.

My Dogs

My brother Mark recently posted reflections on his 15 year relationship with his dog Prince. I have posted articles about my last 2 dogs Greta & Shadow. While those 2 are the most recent relationships I've had with dogs there have been others.


As a 8 year old I wanted a dog. My father had told me about the wire haired fox terriers he had who chased rats that invaded his drug store in Shippensburg. One day I came home and found dog food in our kitchen. He had gotten a wire haired fox terrier for the family. We named her Wimpy because she loved hamburger (like the Popeye character). She was a pure bred and my father bred her so we had a litter of puppies. Watching that whole process was fascinating to me. Even when the pups were sent to a vet for sale I would ride my bike there to check on them. Wimpy though was mainly my father's dog. When he died she seemed lost. When my mother was hospitalized with a nervous breakdown Mark and I were sent to Johnstown. We were told Wimpy died, but I think she was put down while we were gone.


9 years later a girl (Sarah)I was dating convinced me I needed a dog. I told her I wanted a male wire haired fox terrier so she got me one. I named him Topper after the TV series. He was a good dog, but 6 months into his life he was killed. I felt guilty for letting him run loose but all we were doing was walking to my car--he was excited and jumped into the street right in front of a car. I buried Topper in Sarah's back yard and she immediately got me another fox terrier. I named him Bo after the song Mr Bojangles (after 20 years he still grieved). I had Bo from 1972 until 1988. He was a unusual dog--independent, never expressed pain even though surviving a raccoon fight, a run in with barbed wire, and hanging himself off a deck while on a leash. Not very affectionate though. he fell down stairs when he was about one year old and I think he was never really affectionate after that incident.


I inherited a dog when I married Pam named Loretta (after her mother). Bo and Loretta were with me about 11 years. Loretta was more affectionate than Bo. Both of them would wander whenever they got loose and not come back for hours. When I moved to Atlanta in 1982 Bo dug under the fence and was gone several days. I figured he was gone forever since he didn't have an Atlanta dog tag but some one found him and called animal control. Five years later while I was on vacation a service person left a gate open and both dogs got loose. The person house sitting found them, but a day later Loretta became sick and died at the vet's office. I later discovered another neighbor's dog was loose the same day and died--an autopsy revealed food poisoning. Apparently some one decided there were too many dogs on the loose and fed them something fatal.


In 1988 my wife Nancy wanted to get Jeff a dog. Bo was 16 years old and fading. That's when Shadow entered my life. Even though Shadow was suppose to be Jeff's dog she attached herself to me. Shadow was around almost 14 years through some pretty tough times for me. But she was my most faithful companion. See previous post Papa's Little Girl that I wrote 3 years after she was gone.


I currently have Greta, an Aussie Shepherd/Beagle mix. I got her a month after Shadow's passing. Greta has characteristics of my previous dogs. She wanders a bit like Bo and Loretta but always comes back. Fortunately she is very street smart and doesn't go into the street. She is affectionate like Shadow. However, unlike Shadow, sometimes she just won't do what I want her to do. Greta has one obsession though--she wants to chase a tennis ball forever. And once she starts chasing a particular ball that is the only one she will retrieve. Hopefully we have another 10+ years together.



During my 61 years I' ve had a dog(s) for about 42 of those years. Since my first dog I've only been dog less about 9 years (college & early business career). It would be hard to imagine not having a dog in my life. While Shadow was probably the best dog I've had so far, I grieved and mourned each one when they died. I hope I'm around long enough to mourn a few more.

My Mother's Birthday

Today's my Mother's 92nd birthday. I wish she had been around to celebrate more than the 64 she lived. So far that's 3 more than me. I was 33 when she died so I was around her twice as long as my father. It's hard for me to decide which one I was closer too--it seems like I wasn't close to either one--but that's probably me thinking about the distance I maintain with everyone.

Katherine Marcella Pie was born April 23, 1915. She grew up in a family of 9 children. From everything her siblings told me (and my own observations) she was the brightest and smartest. She kept copies of letters she wrote from 1938--1948 to a friend. I first saw them a few years ago and they are so revealing. In fact that's one reason I created this site--it reveals more of me than I would ever share in public.

Anyway she was a gifted writer, and that talent is one she passed on to me and my brother. She wrote 2 novels, she could sew and knit, but I think her most endearing quality was the love and devotion she bestowed on my father. This wasn't obvious to me at the time, but looking back things sometimes get clear. When he died in 1962 she was devastated. She suffered 2 mental breakdowns over the next year--one of which institutionalized her for about 5 months.



From then until she died it seemed to me that she just didn't care about life any more. It was painful for me to watch, not able to really help her in any way that changed things. Looking back I just gave up and moved on with my life. I've done that since in 2 marriages--not knowing how to connect then giving up and moving on. But in reflections with my brother Mark we don't seem to come up with anything we could have done to help our mother move on after the death of our father.



Looking back on her life though I think there was a 3 year period from 1963--66 where she helped Mark and I develop. That was my last year of high school and first years at college. Mark was 2 years behind me. During that time she re-obtained her nursing credentials and worked at the hospital. During those years there was enough stability and financial assistance so Mark and I could go on to college. Right after my father died I was told there wasn't enough money for either one of us to go anywhere after high school except to work. I think my mother pushed herself so we could further our education somewhere--she knew there was potential and she wanted to jump start it for both of us.



I think my mother showed us the way to get up and start flying on our own during those years. Something happened at the hospital in 1966 where she was accused of doing something incorrectly and after that she never worked again. Instead the long downward spiral started again and didn't end until she died on June 24, 1979.



So, Mother here's to you on your 94th birthday. Like I said in my fathers post on his 100th, I wish we could have celebrated more of them in person. And I also wish the two of you could have had more than 16 years of marriage.

God--Where Are You?

The massacre at Virginia Tech makes me wonder--again--is there really a God the way most religions portray him? How could an almighty being create a person who then destroys32 people who were productive members of society? Of course it's not the first time this has happened. From folks like Adolph Hitler through Charles Whitman thousands of evil or fucked up humans have destroyed others who did not deserve to die.

I cannot imagine a God in heaven (wherever) being all loving, all forgiving and almighty creating that kind of havoc. Instead I believe in the laws of nature: lots of things happen just because. People die because of illness, accidents, war, violence, etc. Over the course of history many bad ass people have done a lot of evil stuff. I've had my share of illness, I've driven and cycled thousands of miles, I've sat in class rooms, restaurants, and many other places where accidents or violent acts could have occurred. I've had my share of surgeries and accidents where something could have gone wrong and killed me.

Why have I lived 61 years while others have not? I have no idea. I don't think it's because some almighty being is "looking after me". And what will happen when I die? While it would be nice to think there's some place like heaven, I think I'll turn into dust/compost while the natural world goes on. I'm not trying to convince anyone there isn't a God; I just don't think anyone can convince me there is.

Team Alabama

IN TRIBUTE TO ALICIA JOHNSON ON THE EVE OF HER MOVE BACK TO COLORADO

On Saturday morning April 30, 2005 our TNT cycling team met in Warm Springs for a 60+ mile ride. As most of us drove south from Atlanta we had to negotiate a huge rain storm that showed no signs of stopping and the breaking early morning news that the "missing bride" had been located in New Mexico after being kidnapped by illegal aliens--I mean immigrants--I mean maybe they were legal--who cares. She turned out to be the "runaway bride" and it looks like that's as close as Alicia might get to the term bride--but forgive my digression.

We gathered at the Best Western for a 10:00 ride start, but no one--myself included wanted to start in the downpour. Since most of us had hotel reservations for that night with plans for a cookout we didn't want to call it quits. By about 12:30 a few folks who weren't planning on staying had abandoned us, but the rain had stopped and the weather was marginally OK--at least that's what I decided, and since I was the head coach the mantra was "Are you riding--or are you hiding?'

Some folks wondered about the climb from downtown Warm Springs to the Best Western because it was 1 mile long and 10% grade. I told them it was the hardest hill--maybe I said the only hill--but once that's done the ride is over. Some may say that's the closet truthful description and/or the biggest lie I've ever told about hills on a ride.

Except for the weather getting better I don't remember much about the ride, but by late afternoon all cyclists were back except Alicia, Jane, Harold and Kim. No one had seen them in quite a while. Some folks speculated they turned around and gone back to the hotel (that proved to be factual). But their rooms were empty and we could not reach them on those things they call cell phones.

The front desk attendant told us one of them called to report they had gotten lost but were on their way back to the hotel. We tried to call them to figure out exactly where they were, but couldn't reach them. To make sure they had enough fluids and food, I drove our route in reverse to find them while others went to he grocery store to get food for the cookout. I was kinda glad to be searching cause I don't like to grocery shop especially buying stuff for others. I drove about 20 miles (almost one third of the route) but didn't see them. Called the hotel and still no sign of them. I drove back to the hotel following the route positive I would find them. No such luck--so I did a "Mount Everest" to save myself since I was pretty damn hungry.

Alicia and her comrades finally showed up. Turns out they missed the second frigging turn on our route. They finally figured out they were lost when they got close the Alabama state line--like a trillion miles off course. But they didn't stop there. Despite a warning from one of the locals "GO BACK, GO BACK!" they cycled to the Alabama state line. I have a T shirt with evidence. Only then did they decide to GO BACK and it was even later before they called the hotel.

But why didn't they tell anyone where they were--or where they weren't, either on course or off course? The answer of course is because they are TEAM ALABAMA! The other speculation is they did not want to climb the hill out of Warm Springs.

Coach Neil

P.S. Recently I was riding with Pete Smith--Alicia's candy ass (surrogate boy friend). We talked about Alicia's upcoming surprise party and what appropriate memories we could put in her scrap book. Pete laughed but then said "You know out of 4.5 million people in Atlanta who could move, I'm going to miss Alicia the most."

DITTO FROM ME AND ALL YOUR ATLANTA FRIENDS.

Knee Replacement # 2

My left knee replacement went so well I decided to have my right knee done. Other reasons:

• Under my current health insurance plan I had virtually no "out of pocket costs" with my knee replacement or a shoulder surgery in 2004. Since my health insurance is through one of our insurance companies group plan who our office won't do business with much longer It made sense to "gitrdone" now instead of later.
• I saw the amounts that hospitals billed my insurance company versus what got paid. I figured neither one was real happy about the relationship. Sure enough my insurance company and the hospital/doctors are currently arguing about continuing the contract beyond July 01. My surgery is scheduled for June 26 and has been "approved" so this procedure is "covered".
• I had 2 ugly looking knee joints with both legs bowled outward. Now my replaced knee is almost normal sized and straight. So even though my right knee is not nearly as painful as the left before surgery I'm ready to replace it too.

I was suppose to donate 2 units of blood before surgery. When I went to donate the first unit my hematocrit level was 32. Normally it should be over 38, so the Red Cross took one unit, but told me that would lower my level to a point where it would not be possible to donate a second unit in time. Called doctor's office and they OKd one unit.

I prepared by cycling a century on Saturday, 25 miles on Sunday and walking 2 miles to Piedmont Hospital. The actual surgery took 87 minutes (I got that from the Doctor afterward) and I was in my room by 11:00. Just like my other joint replacements I had an epidural injection instead of general anesthesia, but this time I actually talked to the Doctor during surgery. They had put up a screen so I couldn't see my knee, and I asked if they had started--they had because I could hear the tool background noise and was aware my leg was being manipulated. I felt no pain what so ever.

Post--op pain in my knee was minimal as the epidural remained in place overnight. When Doctor Wilkes visited on Tuesday he told me the incision was longer than the last one and he cut into my quadriceps to get a large spur above my kneecap. He thought recovery would be similar to last time barring any complications. I made plans to go home on Wednesday. However, nurses/staff seemed to be taking a lot more vital signs and blood samples. They mentioned my blood levels were low and on Tuesday afternoon they gave my donated unit back. It only takes a few minutes to donate, but it takes a couple hours to return it. On Tuesday night/Wednesday morning the drainage system started to leak at my knee which slowed drainage. I was concerned because I was draining a fair volume and last time my leg swelled a lot the day after discharge and I was trying to prevent that from re occurring.

On Wednesday Doctor Wilkes removed the drainage tube and changed the bandage. We discussed my low blood counts--still way too low even after transfusion-- and he agreed to call my primary doctor (Marshall Levine) to check this out further. Fortunately this did not prevent my discharge and I was home by 11:30. I got a CPM machine and spent the the day icing and moving the joint. The technician told me not to set the machine beyond 90 degrees until the first set of staples are removed. Dr. Levine called and we set an appointment for Friday. He was concerned because of the contract dispute between Piedmont and BCBS (GA). Dr Levine called Monday to confirm my red blood count was low--everything else normal. However, since the Blue cross contract expired July 01 he could not refer me to a blood specialist. I wound up with a new primary care doctor with a referral to follow (see a future post on medical care/insurance). New doctor referred me to someone at Emory and they couldn't see me until September.

13 days post--op I still have a fair amount of swelling and discomfort. This surgery was definitely more than minimally invasive. Incision was 8 inches (left knee was 5) and the doctor had to cut my quadriceps to remove all the spurs. It was harder to do rehab and I had to leave work early to ice my leg. Therapist thinks it looks great and considering what they did he's probably right. I still thought I could get back on the road before August 01.

07/16/06 Got on a stationary bike today--one day ahead of previous knee replacement.

07/26/06 Post--op visit. Things looked good although swelling still an issue. Had to undergo an ultra sound at Emory to confirm no blood clots. That was my last visit to the surgeon. I didn't go back because I knew the knee was doing fine.

07/29/06 Back on the road again. One day sooner than last time and a few more miles. I did 27 miles in just over 2 hours. The initial 18 miles were done in 80 minutes. I felt good enough to do some more riding but as I continued cycling I had to slow down. Probably pushed it a little bit but it felt so, so good to be riding on the road again. It hurt so good!!

Blue Cross and Piedmont worked things out and I was able to return to my primary care doctor who got me to a hematologist in August. Diagnosis was anemia with no real idea why. I went on a high iron dose and scheduled a possible bone marrow biopsy in a month.

During August I continued physical therapy and did 11 road rides, most between 25--30 miles. On 08/27 I rode in north GA and went 55 miles. The first 30 were pretty easy but once I got to the last gap climb (Neels) I was tired. I limped up the 3 mile climb suffering a lot--normally this was an easy climb, but not today. It was partly my knee not being used to doubling my mileage and partly the anemia.

I continued increasing my cycling and therapy during September. When I went back to my hematologist he decided not to do the bone marrow biopsy because my counts and profile were improving. That probably meant my anemia was the result of iron deficiency because of the 2 knee surgeries. That also meant I got a little extra exercise walking 2 miles to his office since I wouldn't be able to drive after the biopsy. So I just walked back home after stopping for a huge breakfast since I had to fast.

My major recovery goal was to complete the 6 Gap Century on 09/24. I rode the back 3 gaps one week before the event and knew that while I might be able to complete 6 Gap I would pay a huge price. So I did the 3 Gap. It rained through entire ride but I felt pretty good. I was sure my anemia was disappearing because I could ride faster with less effort and do harder intervals without fading.

I continued weight lifting and riding through October. In early November the hematologist said all my counts were completely normal. The final diagnosis was anemia due to iron deficiency as the result of 2 surgeries and blood donations. I wasn't surprised because I could feel a big difference in my fitness level compared to earlier in the year.

On 11/18/06 I did El Tour de Tucson--my first century after the second knee replacement. It was almost effortless. I rode with team mates and helped pull several pace lines and individuals during the ride. The only mishap was a flat tire at mile 90. I've participated in this event 7 times but always as a coach helping and looking after my team. Someday I want to do this ride on my own to see how well I could do.

So 2006 (my 60th) was a good year. Back in 2005 I had planned to achieve some mile stone like 60 centuries, 6 or maybe 10 six gap centuries, etc. I wound up with only 4 centuries in 2006. But I have 2 new knees, improved range of motion, straight legs and no health issues that I'm aware of. I'll settle for that and plan some goals for future years. One goal is no more orthopedic surgeries--10 in one life time is already way too many!

Back to the Future--Marriage

Like anyone who's lived 60 years I've had my share of success and failure. One area where I failed consistently was marriage. Here's my perspective on how I screwed up. As a "boomer" I hit my sexual stride in the 1960's (after birth control--way before Aids). I was like a kid in a candy store with a free pass--unlimited opportunities--no reason to make any commitment. So I dated lots of girls/women never feeling any reason to settle down--there were too many choices. I probably dated several potential mates that would have been a better choice than the 2 women I did marry. By better choice I mean someone I could have stayed connected to for a life time.

I met my first wife in 1973 at a company softball game. Her name was/is Pam Riccio and the night I met her I ended up in bed with somebody else. That's how the relationships were for me--connect with someone, get a phone number, disconnect, wind up with someone else, follow up, date 2, 3, 4 people, be non-committal, lose them, find others, etc etc. I was also not any good at breaking up--once things got tense I would just distance myself until she/they disappeared.

I dated Pam and several other women almost 3 years. Then I was transferred to Los Angeles in 1976. I cared deeply about Pam, but I wanted to live the LA experience. The LA experience for me was going there on a business trip a few years before and getting laid by 3 different women in 5 days. So I moved to LA and found almost every woman I dated was sexually available but pretty shallow compared to Pam and others I had dated.

I invited Pam to visit me in California, things went well, and I proposed. Pam was athletic, loved the same activities I did and seemed ready to start a life with me. But once the honeymoon was over, she encountered job problems, missed NJ, etc. I did my best to reach out, but I was the typical guy--tell me what the problem is and I'll tell you how to fix it--without realizing she didn't want me to solve the problem--she wanted me to "listen". We moved to Connecticut in 1978 because she wanted to be closer to her family--and it was a good promotion for me, but once there all she talked about was how much she missed California. Sex between us just disappeared (both of us wound up getting it through affairs) but we hung together until 1981 when she moved back to California for a job. The reality was she was attracted to someone out there and I had an affair going so it was fairly easy to get divorced. Just like my previous relationships.

My second wife was an affair I started in Connecticut as Pam was leaving. Back then I prided myself as a person who didn't make the same mistake twice. But I got involved with someone who had the same qualities as Pam. We got married and managed to last 7 years but it was the the same thing all over again. Only difference was this time I was completely faithful while she had multiple affairs. Bottom line for me was I married almost the exact same personality twice--and reacted the same way when issues arose. I tried a lot harder to keep the marriage together during those issues, but finally decided she wasn't worth the effort.

So I've been divorced over 16 years. I've had no contact with my second wife, but talk to Pam a few times a year. We both admit we didn't give our relationship a full effort. If I could turn back the clock I would have worked much harder to preserve that marriage--after all it was the first time I pledged "until death us due part". But I doubt that Pam or anyone could tolerate me. I'm a hard person for any woman to get super close to--I have lots of friends, but still wonder if I can ever forge a long term relationship with a woman.

The other day I called Pam. We had exchanged messages a few times but had not talked in a while. That day (November 28) would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. We have become comrades over the phone, but right now we both seem too caught up in doing what we each want or have to do in our own lives to have much of a chance to really connect with anyone on a long term relationship.