Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Team Alabama

IN TRIBUTE TO ALICIA JOHNSON ON THE EVE OF HER MOVE BACK TO COLORADO

On Saturday morning April 30, 2005 our TNT cycling team met in Warm Springs for a 60+ mile ride. As most of us drove south from Atlanta we had to negotiate a huge rain storm that showed no signs of stopping and the breaking early morning news that the "missing bride" had been located in New Mexico after being kidnapped by illegal aliens--I mean immigrants--I mean maybe they were legal--who cares. She turned out to be the "runaway bride" and it looks like that's as close as Alicia might get to the term bride--but forgive my digression.

We gathered at the Best Western for a 10:00 ride start, but no one--myself included wanted to start in the downpour. Since most of us had hotel reservations for that night with plans for a cookout we didn't want to call it quits. By about 12:30 a few folks who weren't planning on staying had abandoned us, but the rain had stopped and the weather was marginally OK--at least that's what I decided, and since I was the head coach the mantra was "Are you riding--or are you hiding?'

Some folks wondered about the climb from downtown Warm Springs to the Best Western because it was 1 mile long and 10% grade. I told them it was the hardest hill--maybe I said the only hill--but once that's done the ride is over. Some may say that's the closet truthful description and/or the biggest lie I've ever told about hills on a ride.

Except for the weather getting better I don't remember much about the ride, but by late afternoon all cyclists were back except Alicia, Jane, Harold and Kim. No one had seen them in quite a while. Some folks speculated they turned around and gone back to the hotel (that proved to be factual). But their rooms were empty and we could not reach them on those things they call cell phones.

The front desk attendant told us one of them called to report they had gotten lost but were on their way back to the hotel. We tried to call them to figure out exactly where they were, but couldn't reach them. To make sure they had enough fluids and food, I drove our route in reverse to find them while others went to he grocery store to get food for the cookout. I was kinda glad to be searching cause I don't like to grocery shop especially buying stuff for others. I drove about 20 miles (almost one third of the route) but didn't see them. Called the hotel and still no sign of them. I drove back to the hotel following the route positive I would find them. No such luck--so I did a "Mount Everest" to save myself since I was pretty damn hungry.

Alicia and her comrades finally showed up. Turns out they missed the second frigging turn on our route. They finally figured out they were lost when they got close the Alabama state line--like a trillion miles off course. But they didn't stop there. Despite a warning from one of the locals "GO BACK, GO BACK!" they cycled to the Alabama state line. I have a T shirt with evidence. Only then did they decide to GO BACK and it was even later before they called the hotel.

But why didn't they tell anyone where they were--or where they weren't, either on course or off course? The answer of course is because they are TEAM ALABAMA! The other speculation is they did not want to climb the hill out of Warm Springs.

Coach Neil

P.S. Recently I was riding with Pete Smith--Alicia's candy ass (surrogate boy friend). We talked about Alicia's upcoming surprise party and what appropriate memories we could put in her scrap book. Pete laughed but then said "You know out of 4.5 million people in Atlanta who could move, I'm going to miss Alicia the most."

DITTO FROM ME AND ALL YOUR ATLANTA FRIENDS.