My long time friend Smokey Chattin died last Saturday on his 71st birthday. He is the first person to die that I knew and saw regularly for nearly 60 years.
I became friends with Smokey in high school when he dated my next door neighbor, Bonnie Brown. Ironically I wound up becoming friends with a lot of guys when they dated Bonnie. I didn't see much of him during my college years, but in the fall of 1968 we both wound up in Atlanta. I was on a temporary assignment with Chubb and Smokey was with Crawford & Company training to be a claims adjuster. I'd like to think that we related to each other then since we were both involved with the insurance industry, but in fact it was most likely chasing women and alcohol that bonded us. I may have those in the wrong order.
In the early 1970's I was back in Atlanta and Smokey was in our hometown (Danville). I visited Danville regularly to see my mother and we hung out together still pursuing our similar dual interests. Then Smokey met and married Liz Newton. They moved to Blacksburg and Smokey went back to school at Virginia Tech. He had started there previously but dropped out after a few semesters. He graduated, went to work in the banking business and built a new house for he and Liz. They visited me while I was in New Jersey and all seemed great.
But it apparently wasn't. The thing about Smokey was that he was intelligent, good looking, and a charmer but there was a self destructive dark side to Smokey which wound up disappointing and frustrating a lot of people who cared for him. And when things went south you really had to take Smokey's explanation with a grain of salt. I hadn't figured that out when his marriage dissolved. That pattern was repeated over the years. At times Smokey seemed like he was on top of the world and then everything would fall apart. I won't go into detail on all those episodes except to say that throughout the 1980's, 90's and beyond we remained friends and saw each other regularly since we both lived in Georgia. I may be one of the few persons really close to Smokey who never directly experienced the frustration with him that others did. He did approach me a few times asking for a favor. By the time that happened though I was pretty cautious and didn't do anything that would have cost me financially or negatively affect our friendship.
I previously mentioned our common bonds and one similarity we shared was a long term dependency on alcohol. One reason I ultimately quit drinking seven years ago was being around Smokey and realizing that alcohol was negatively affecting both of us. Once I quit it was harder to be around Smokey. In fact over the last few years the only time I spent time with him was our 50th high school reunion. We also got together for dinner with two other friends the following evening. I could tell he was not in good physical condition. Life had clearly taken a toll on him. Early last year Smokey suffered a major stroke that left him paralyzed on his right side and unable to even speak. I visited him several times in an assisted living facility here in Atlanta and for a while he improved; he could talk and use his right hand. However, it was clear he would probably never be able to live on his own. His older sister Bonnie was about the only family he had left and she lives in California; her hope was he would progress to the point where she could move him to an assisted living home out there. She visited several times and then Smokey wound up back in the hospital. He left the hospital but neither they or the assisted living home knew where he was. I checked in with Bonnie and found out Smokey was in another facility and had deteriorated to the point where hospice was coming in to evaluate. I went to visit the next day and it was tough. I wondered whether he could even last until Bonnie returned in a few days.
Bonnie along with his niece arrived to find out Smokey was back in the hospital on a ventilator. All three of us thought the end was near, but when they removed the ventilator, a decision made by Bonnie who realized he was suffering, he survived and wound up back in assisted living. On his 70th birthday last year, Bonnie came to Atlanta and organized a birthday celebration for Smokey at the assisted living facility. A lot of his Atlanta friends came and Smokey was in good spirits, but to me it was obvious by then he was never going to leave that facility alive.
I went by to see him a few times after that but he was deteriorating. He weighed well under 100 lbs, couldn't really eat solid food, and at times seemed to be in a vegetative state. To be honest it became too painful to watch the downward spiral and like several times before in our relationship I avoided going to see him. In fact the last time I visited I thought he was actually dead; finally I saw his chest barely move. He was alseep so didn't even speak to him. I found out he passed away when his daughter and some friends posted it on Facebook.
As I mentioned Smokey had huge potential and I observed him crashing, but then resurrecting himself like the Phoenix. He could have done almost anything career-wise and been successful. From banking to insurance to sales to becoming a master craftsman building and renovating homes the world could have been his oyster. There's no doubt that his lifestyle ended up cutting his life short. Godspeed Claude "Smokey" Chattin. I am grateful to have known you and happy that you are no longer suffering.
