My mother was Catholic while my father grew up in a Presbyterian family. When they married the agreement was children would be raised Catholic. This was a non-issue for my father since he seemed religion ambivalent. So my brother and I grew up as Catholics. Early on I was too young so I did was I was told, and from a religious point of view my mother set the stage. First grade was spent in public school, but in 1952 a Catholic school was established in my home town. Where I should go to school became a debate between my parents as my mother wanted me at Sacred Heart while my father felt public schools were more established. My mother won that debate so Catholic school became my educational path for the next 7 years. In retrospect I wish my father had prevailed, but it was not his nature to debate religion.
During those years I accepted Catholicism as gospel without question. I did worry about my father not attending services with us, and when I asked him about that, he said, "Well, I am Presbyterian." Later on I asked why he did not go to the Presbyterian church in town, he responded, "Well, that's a southern Presbyterian church and I'm a northern Presbyterian." Later on I discovered there was a profound difference, but back then I thought he would wind up in hell since Catholics believed they were the only ones who ever wound up in heaven. When my mother started skipping church I began to have doubts about her as well. Nevertheless, I tried following the rules as best I could.
After graduating from Sacred Heart I wanted to go to a seminary to become a priest. My father won that debate by telling my mother and me, if Neil wants to consider priesthood he can explore that after high school. I think it's the only argument he ever won with my mother. Side note: if my parents ever seriously argued about things I seldom was aware of it. Back then I thought priesthood would be cool: public speaking, helping people, a nice residence, some wine, etc. Whoops, being celibate? My doubts had began after going to confession for years making up stuff. Now as sexual interests evolved, I confessed stuff I wasn't even sorry about. I quit going to confession or receiving communion in high school, but attended Sunday services even after starting college.
The University of Richmond was affiliated with the Baptist Association of Virginia, and students were required to take two semesters of religious history, aka Bible. It was the old and new testament from the King James version of the bible. They were were more like interesting history courses, and I learned it was OK to question things. That was contrary to my Catholic upbringing where you were not allowed to question anything. Once I quit going to church, I began to question and rebel against Catholicism.. Everything I had experienced smacked of this is the way, the only way, and if one is not completely on board, heaven and eternal salvation are out of the question.
Both of my marriages were to Catholics. The first was in a Catholic church while the last one was a civil ceremony. At one point we thought it would be advantageous to expose my stepson to a religion. We naturally gravitated toward Catholicism. Early on I thought the church had become more enlightened, but when we explored getting married as Catholics it turned out annulling two earlier marriages required digging up long buried grudges and memories. It was also ridiculously expensive. That ended my last real exposure to any type religious faith.
I think of myself as agnostic. I don't know if there is an after life or heaven and hell. My goal is to to life a moralistic life so I will be covered either way. I am not perfect, but I do my best. I accept many individuals thrive in their religion; it's just not something I feel necessary for me to live a worthwhile life.
