My last drink was almost 15 months ago (450 days as I write this). I stopped because it was destroying the most important relationship in my life. Back then I thought that would salvage things, but it did not. As time went by I realized there's more to quitting drinking than just not drinking and this journey became about me and my life. It became clear to me that after 45 + years I had no control over alcohol. The refrain in a recent Kenny Chesney song is so true for me "....one is one too many, one more is never enough..."
I go to an AA meeting at least once a week, sometimes 2 or 3. I was reluctant to attend these at first but a good friend who's well down the recovery road told me that in the beginning just don't drink and go to AA meetings. He also suggested I find meetings where there were regular attendees with many years of sobriety so that's what I did. The best thing I get from AA meetings is the fellowship of folks willing to share their experiences and listen to me share mine. The thing I haven't been able to embrace is their 12 step program which just has too much of turn things over to a higher power. I strongly believe that it is my responsibility to deal with this issue--not rely on a spiritual being to somehow share responsibility. So I developed my own set of guidelines for dealing with this. I didn't number them because there is no real order--they are all inter-related.
Realized and admitted to myself that I could not control alcohol and that created problems in my life.
Decided that for me the only way to resolve this is total abstinence from alcohol and physical sobriety can only be achieved by taking it one day at a time. Also physical sobriety is my most important priority no matter what happens in my life.
Determined that I am solely responsible for taking action, but that support and friendships can help. So be receptive to the fellowship, strength, hope and experience of others going through this process and be willing to share my experiences with them.
As I evaluate my life, identify people I may have harmed by my action or inaction even if alcohol was not always a factor. Make amends to them whenever possible.
