July 17, 2005--that's the day Pete earned a PHD for being a candy ass--or as the Alicia court of guilt dubbed it "one with ass made of candy". It all started with a few emails suggesting a gap ride. Some accuse Pete of organizing the ride but that's not true. I actually sent a message asking if folks were "pigs" or "chickens" i.e. committed or interested. Enough folks were "pigs " so that I reserved picnic table # 4 at Vogel, and made a list of attendees along with food assignments. Pete's in my day timer with "burgers" written beside his name.
On Sunday morning we met at Vogel to ride, but Pete wasn't there. Calls to his cell phone weren't answered. After the ride scrambled for food so we could have a post ride cookout--at picnic table # 4 minus the Pete Smith burgers. The next morning Alicia issued Pete's diploma--and then the shit really hit the fan.
Pete informed us about a club he was involved with--or should I say founded--the Fulton University Club for Kids United by Alicia. The acronym is FUCKUAlicia. I won't bore you with the details of his explanation--let's just say it was a total crock of crap. Under oath he finally admitted to perjury. The text of this is available if you google the yahoo group. A few more salvos were fired back and forth but things were fairly quiet until Pete sent out an email suggesting another gaps ride on October 8 and asked "who's with me?' Then Alicia unleashed a full frontal assault:
"HAHA! Good one Pete! Whew...you are hysterical! "Ummm...yeah, like I am planning this great 3-gaps ride," (said in a Petie-voice) ...just a sec, let me catch my breath...I am laughing too hard..."Then we will have a BBQ after--I'll bring the hamburgers!"...whew, gotta wipe the tears from my eyes...I can't quite see the computer screen... "Let's meet early so we can beat the heat--it'll be GREAT!"So we all head up there, whilst you sit on your couch, perming your hair, painting your nails and watching QVC looking for some great deals on new pink panties for your candy-ass!That is some FUNNY stuff! You are like Ashton Kutcher! But you already did that one--I don't think I am going to be "Punked" twice!"
One team mate put the final touch on this; his email read: "I don't really know either of you that well, but judging by your emails I'd say you're made for each other! When's the wedding?" We still don't have an answer, but we now know that Pete & Alicia are an item. No one has figured out how that happened--I personally think Pete got some serious skinny on Alicia and is blackmailing her--why else would she be so enamored with such a candy ass--I mean "one with ass made of candy"?
On a more serious note, one thing I admire is Pete's sales ability--or should I say his perception of salesmanship. After all who else would try to convince a girl friend to move back to Atlanta from Colorado to rejoin him here? Out there Alicia owns a house, has a great job and lots of family. Here Pete has an apartment close to Morningside taverns, a job with a company that when he applied for a transfer to Denver promptly closed that office, no family-- only friends who derive great pleasure in making him the butt of all their jokes. Nevertheless Pete set out with great ambition over the past year to convince Alicia she should return. Great sales job, Pete--that's why we're now having a farewell party for you.
