Last weekend I attended a funeral service for my aunt who died New Year's day. As long as you're not the main participant, funerals bring folks together that may not have seen each other for many years. Peg's funeral was certainly that for me. The priest and her daughter Gretchen delivered touching eulogies. Had I been asked to speak it would have gone like this:
"It's been 44 years since I've been here at Our Mother of Sorrows Church. I'm Peg Seifert's nephew Neil Fleming. Back then following the death of my father my mother was unable to care for my brother and I. Peg brought us to Johnstown to live with her family until my mother recovered. So every Sunday whether I wanted to or not I was here for a service.
My brother and I came to Johnstown reluctantly since we really didn't have any other options--at 17 and 15 you usually don't. Peg brought us here and at great personal sacrifice made us a part of her family that summer and fall. It was hard for Peg because money was limited and other family members were not able to help. But Peg with support from her husband Sy provided the support we needed. My own mother died almost 30 years ago, but as long as Peg was alive I felt the presence of a surrogate mother hovering in the background.
I made many friends in Johnstown most of whom I haven't seen since 1963. I see some here today, and you remind me of how Peg did whatever she could to bring family and friends together. She was the matriarch of our family, keeping in touch, reaching out even when we disappeared for a time, and as Gretchen said 'forgive but not forget'.
I know that Peg would look over this weekend and say to herself, 'Thank God I was able to re-unite some of my family and friends one more time'. Right know she's no doubt getting a key from St Peter for that place in heaven reserved for very special souls."
In 2005 I spent several days with my brother and Peg in Johnstown. It was the first time Mark and I had seen Peg together since 1963. I had a sense it might be the last time I'd get a chance to spend time like this with her. When I learned Peg had died going to her service was a journey I knew was inevitable.
With few exceptions I didn't keep in touch with my extended family for many years. A small part of that could have been resentment over what happened after my father's death and my mother's complications. But I think it was mainly indifference on my part. During the last 4 years I've made efforts to reconnect with extended family. Whenever I've been able to reconnect with individual family members it's extremely fulfilling. Sometimes it seems like it's only been a short disconnect even though it's been years. I hope I can re-establish connections with more although it's awful hard when folks get spread out. The promise I've made to myself is to keep up trying. The past few years have shown me it's worth the effort. Peg's funeral was a special weekend for me and others.
My brother Mark also wrote about Peg today on his blog, Unsolicited Opinion.
